INTRODUCING AKA M.M.A.D
Also Known as Men Making a Difference
Does the word PARENT really mean Mother?
Hey there , My name is Michelle Alexander I am the Founder of AKA Life Coaching .Welcome to our first addition of AKA M.M.A.D on this first addition we will be talking to our first AKA Man Making A Difference Jermaine McLeod. Jermaine is a qualified Art Psychotherapist registered with the Health Care Professions Council (HCPC). He also is an undergraduate BA degree in Graphical Communication and a Masters in Art Psychotherapy. In addition to his academic qualifications, he has a background in support work and has vast experience in supporting a broad spectrum of individuals (both adults and young people. Jermaine is working with the victim’s of the tragic Grenfell tower disaster.
So lets jump right into it , Does Parent or Parenting just mean Mom, Mother, Mum ? I over heard a conversation this week, a woman was talking about her clearly ex partners reluctance to still pay maintenance as their child is no longer at school Re :COVID 19 .Her ex normally pays for dinner money and was not willing to pay the money as the child was no longer at school. I spoke to a close friend about her husbands work and she reported that her husbands work had just assumed that she “the MOTHER” would do all the care giving over this COVID 19 period and that the service had not offered any support for fathers .The theme continued when another friend mentioned that although a friend and husband are now both working from home yet the mother was expected to keep the child entertained.
It got me thinking what does parent and co parenting mean, When the family is in a difficult situations does PARENT just mean Mother? Over the COVID 19 crisis I’ve notice that most of the post relating to concerns about home schooling and having a to work from home were coming from Mothers . It made me think is parent, just a code for mum? maternity and paternity lengths are not equal so when it comes to parenting is Society saying from the beginning that a mans role in parenting is optional or less as important.
Over the years in my profession once separated so many women have aired there frustrations about their ex partner’s level of commitment for the none ‘ fun stuff and dad becoming the fun weekend parent. Working in education and as a childcare manager, I have to put my hand’s up if a child was sick i would call the mother first unless instructed other wise . Does this mean most school’s or nursery’s always calls the mother first, even if both parents are working full time or both parents have important meeting’s during the day.
I decided to speak to Jermaine McLeod my good friend and black Psychotherapist from London for his insights on parenting after separation. I say the word BLACK Psychotherapist from London as he is one of very few black Psychotherapist in the UK. What did Jermaine AKA M.M.A.A.D have to say? “Thanks Michelle Great, I’d love to help! men do find it difficult to adapt to changes at home. There is an expectation that women are to maintain the household which does not fit with present day life, as women are more independent, ambitious etc. Work can sometimes be an escape from the chaos that men may feel when something like this happens in which they may not feel in control. Change needs to be put towards them subtly and indirect at times to make them think and come up with ideas themselves this may lead to a conversation that can be had towards the woman’s advantage.!”
Equality starts at home , how equal is your family home ? Why not complete the questions below with your partner or co-parent .XOXO
AKA Life Coaching :Helpful Questions to ask when separated or co parenting!
On a scale of 0-10 where 0 means that you do NO unpaid care responsibilities and 10 means that it is EQUAL to your partners.
How and will you communicate parenting tasks with your ex / partner?
When will you spend time with your children? how often? where? with whom?
How will you organise school holidays ?
Childcare arrangements : Who will do Pick ups and drop offs, How will half terms and 6 weeks holidays be split?
Who will be called when your child is sick ,who will collect, what day’s, how often?
How will you be Involved in decisions related to your children?
Do you want to be consulted about holidays and medical decisions?
Will your children be able to keep in contact with grandparents and the wider family?
What will the Financial arrangements be?
What will happen during Christmas, Birthdays and other occasions?
How will you discuss and unify parenting strategies and styles?
For more information about Jermaine and his Art Psychotherapy service click the link below.
NEW SERVICES
Email AKA LIFE COACHING for more information on Family Life Coaching for Men (Co-Parenting and Carers ):
Support Services for Men.
Co-Parenting
Separation / Divorce.
I’m now the Primary Parent / Carer giver.
I want support with my childs disability.
Caring for a elderly or sick relative .